Monday, August 24, 2009

Its been a while!

i learn that life is not perfect, you need to demand what you want from life or it will just give you the stuff that's not good enough.

I believe God, he's said September, i wonder what He means but i choose not to be anxious. Three days ago, i was enjoying the fact that my body is slim yet so curvy, it fits anything i put on. Its a marvel to me. I have a beautiful body, i should know i spend everyday bathing and looking at my body, weird right but that is me.

I was thinking of how if i found love, it would take all the self-discipline (no, when i find the One) to follow the due process of meeting my leader and letting him check the person out.

Its something i know is useful though so i don't fall for the wrong person or get deceived in any way but in the human point of view, its like there is no sense to it as the system would not work for me. this is the argument i had before joining my church till i just let go and decided to serve knowing that worrying would do nothing for me.

I'll do it because it is a spiritual thing but i will still decide who i marry because its not my leader's body some guy would either be mauling or caressing depending on who it is and i want/need the liberty to choose who would have that privilege seeing as how i am hating contact in any form again!


i would rather HG just showed me the guy so i would not be worrying. He must be like Jesus o! aside all the good looks, smart, intelligent and god-fearing, he must be sensitive to me and patient, very patient for i am trying. it's not every god-fearing guy i want touching me (as defined by the 21st century church) urgghh!, he must be a man after God's heart. His heart and who rules him and controls him matter above all, if not i will just enjoy my life and not pick anyone.

i can hear people's minds telling me that my list is too exclusive. i never wanted to get married after seeing all the imperfections of marriage so when God (after i got saved) that it was a good idea, i think seeing that its a God-idea, can't i ask for what i want? its what i want or i'll stay unmarried. if i don't find it, i honestly won't settle down with other people's idea.