okay s**t happened...

okay so it was showdown at the office

i had some training
i saw the ugliness of humanity

They stood up
They talked
My body grew cold
as i heard word after word
meant to destabilize me
i talked to no one

and then Mr. j
is asking me stupid questions

I grow cold and numb
at his questions
Motive: To hurt, to break, to destroy!


(Holy Ghost i thank God you love m
You know i don't deserve the way you
love me)
How could he even think to hurt 
me like that?

After that direct attack
Everyone else was directing their talk at me
But they did not call my name and ask
me inane questions intended to hurt

I ask myself:

"Why the heck did you ever want to be a Christian when they don't think twice about hurting you?"

"Jesus on the Cross convinced me, Jesus had nothing to do with what they did. It is because they don't know who they are that they act this way and they want what they want"

i told myself even though i was still hurt, your motive is God, don't cry, hold on, if you break down, they will never stop acting this way; they will know they have your button, and they would be remote controlling you everyday.

I just focused and tried to learn something after that because i just felt everyone else was talking about me no matter what they said.
Was i hurt? Yeah
Was i broken? No
Was i convinced about what they wanted me to be convinced about? No, i just saw their insecurities clearly. I am so glad God worked thru my forgiveness issues cos i would not have been able to answer people i was not already praying for?
Praying for people helps you forget, you see them thru the eyes of Jesus.

they hurt me so bad like i said my pain factor has risen again.

My confidence is that "Greater is He who lives in me than he who lives in the world..."

He just felt like hurting me and they had already been annoying me because they were talking perverse talk all the time for about an hour and then they started talking about me in my front, referring to me and trying to hurt me, it was the grace of God i did not respond.

I also had expo, i heard 'fight' in my spirit three days ago and i wondered, 'are they fighting someone where my loved ones are or is someone planning a fight with me?'

I wondered and wondered and then i prayed, this is why i could not respond.

Holy Spirit, i love you, help me to be sensitive to you constantly!